It seems that most parents, whether they realize it or not, have a favorite child. This intriguing insight comes from a study at Brigham Young University (BYU) in Utah, which delved deep into the concept of parental favoritism, or what they call parental differential treatment (PDT). The university’s team sifted through a trove of studies conducted over several years, honing in on this nuanced family dynamic.
In their extensive research, the team scoured databases using terms like “parental favoritism,” “siblings,” and “differential parenting.” After narrowing down their search, they focused on 30 studies that met their criteria. They even reached out globally to include 14 more datasets with unique insights. This comprehensive approach allowed them to explore how factors such as birth order, gender, and personality could influence PDT.
Interestingly, the study found that youngest siblings often receive more attention, while older ones enjoy greater freedom. In a conversation with Fox News Digital, Alex Jensen, the lead author and a professor at BYU’s School of Family Life, discussed these findings, which were published in the journal Psychological Bulletin. He noted that daughters seem to receive more preferential treatment, a revelation that surprised him.
Jensen shared, “I was surprised that both mothers and fathers favored daughters. We thought fathers would favor sons.” He speculated that this might have roots in evolutionary history. In the past, sons were seen as a safety net for aging parents, providing material support. However, in modern societies, daughters are more likely to care for elderly parents, possibly accruing “social capital” with their parents.
Throughout childhood, sons are often seen playing outdoors in larger groups, while daughters tend to stay indoors with smaller groups. The study also highlighted that younger siblings often get more favorable treatment. Jensen remarked, “Over the past several decades, parents have become less and less inclined to allow their kids to play outdoors without supervision. Daughters may, on average, be more suited to current parenting culture, and thus easier to parent.”
The research also revealed that older siblings are typically granted more autonomy and freedom, a pattern that seems to extend into adulthood. Children who are more agreeable and responsible appear to be favored, Jensen noted, because they are simply easier to parent. “For example, an agreeable child will be more likely to do what they are asked by the parent. A conscientious child will be more likely to do their homework, their chores … or be aware of those around them and their needs,” he explained.
Jensen emphasized the importance of parents being open to their children’s perspectives. He mentioned a previous study suggesting that when children understand the reasons behind different treatment, it matters less. “In some cases, I would argue that what the kids think is more important,” he said. He stressed that parents should work on being open to hearing their kids’ perspectives without getting defensive.
In the evolving landscape of family dynamics, understanding these subtleties could lead to healthier relationships. Jensen’s insights provide a window into how societal changes influence parenting styles and the resulting impact on children. While the study offers a deep dive into parental favoritism, it also serves as a reminder of the complexity and individuality of family life.
