Dean Perryman turned a private grief into a public mission: after losing his best friend to suicide, he started a grassroots campaign called Empty Chairs that invites strangers to sit, listen and connect in pubs and restaurants. What began in East London has grown into regular meet-ups, a thousand events in one town and a volunteer movement that now stretches overseas. The effort focuses on giving people a low-barrier place to talk and to be heard, especially men who struggle to open up. This article follows how a simple idea has become a lasting, practical response to loneliness and loss.
This story discusses suicide. If you or someone you know is having thoughts of suicide, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988 or 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
At 30, Perryman began sitting in public places wearing a bright orange hoodie and inviting strangers to join him after his best friend Rob Clancy died by suicide at 29. He calls the project Empty Chairs and says it started as a way to make sure nobody feels alone, even people he has never met. The approach is simple: create a visible, welcoming presence and let conversation happen naturally over a drink or a meal.
Perryman, who lives in Stratford in East London, kept at it through the winter and into the next year, meeting people who showed up out of curiosity, loneliness or the desire to help. Just a few weeks ago he marked his program’s 1,000th meet-up in Leigh-on-Sea, Essex, with about a dozen attendees. “It has been such an incredible experience. I am loving every second of it still,” he said, speaking about how the work has continued to surprise him.
When he launched Empty Chairs, Perryman wanted a practical way to honour Rob and to make space for conversations that might otherwise never happen. “When I started, it came from such a place of sadness — and to see how this simple idea has been able to help so many people has been really nice,” he said. The gatherings are informal and low-pressure, and that relaxed feel makes it easier for people to open up.
The events have spread beyond England and now run in countries including Colombia, Spain, the United Arab Emirates and Australia. Perryman says attendees often return, especially in small towns where new social circles are harder to find. Over time people who met at an Empty Chairs table have kept in touch, formed friendships and helped one another navigate big life changes.
Perryman himself has attended 61 events and points to one of the most powerful outcomes: men feeling safe enough to speak. “Some people come because they really want someone to listen to what they have to say,” he said. “Others come because they have the capacity to be there for someone else. Everyone shares their own story, but it stays at the table.”
“No matter who you are, there is a place for you.”
The campaign’s appeal is how inclusive it is; Perryman says there’s no set profile for who joins an Empty Chairs meet-up. “Every Empty Chairs event you go to, you are going to meet people of different walks of life,” he said. He describes gatherings as a mix of men and women, young and old, newcomers to an area and folks looking to widen their circle.
Far from a one-off experiment, Empty Chairs already has hundreds more dates penciled in and shows no sign of slowing. Perryman said he has about 200 more events scheduled and plans to keep going. That durability is part of the point: an easy, repeatable ritual that lowers the barrier for someone to reach out when they need human company.
Perryman hopes Empty Chairs becomes part of a legacy for Rob, a friend he remembers as warm and life-affirming yet private about his struggles. “He was the kindest, sweetest guy you could ever hope to meet,” Perryman said, noting how many men, like Rob, might not ask for help. His campaign aims to make asking for a listening ear a normal, ordinary thing you can do simply by taking a seat.
People often come for practical reasons: moving to a new town, wanting more friends, or needing to be heard in a noisy world. Perryman believes those small, repeated acts of sitting down with a stranger can add up, giving people a place to be seen and a space to share. As Empty Chairs grows, it keeps returning to the same basic idea: a seat, a cup, and someone willing to listen.
